The X-FILES!

I get a text message yesterday that says " I am getting a divorce " Thats it. Nothing else.

I have racked my brain wondering why in the world he wants me to know that. We dated. He cheated. Got a girl pregnant. THEN married her a year after the baby was born. They never got along the whole time. So, why marry her? I hate being the girl EVERY guy falls back on. I deserve my happy ending. I dont feel like I need to step back and retry the situation with him again, right?

I think alot of my problem is that I am just too nice.

Any suggestions?

Sunday Morning......

I hate to admit to this, but I havnt been to church in almost a year. My heart has grown bitter over time. I dont understand why I am not married, dont have kids, almost like I want everything I dont have. I have prayed and prayed and still nothing. So, I just got out of the habit of going to church. Recently I am been wanting to go back, not sure whether to stay at the same one or try another one. I have Gone to the same church all my life so it seemed so scary to start over.

So this morning I went to the same church. I really enjoyed it, all the people had missed me and made me feel like I was supposed to be there. I honestly do want to have a closer walk with God. I know deep down it will make so much differance. I feel so empty because of not having a man, or child, or my friends there when I want them. I have to realize they all have new lives now and cant just drop everything for me. Why is it I cant just talk to God when I want to talk to somebody, when Im lonely, he's always there, and always ready to listen.

I just hope I can be the woman he wants me to be.....

New Glasses

I went to the eye doctor today and got the cutest glasses!!! I love them!

Now.....for my Saturday night....I have a date with the lifetime channel.........

This time of year scares me.......

If you are a woman you know we have our yearly visit to " The doctor" I dread it every year, mainly because I am afraid of hearing something bad. My grandmother had ovarian, breast, and womb cancers. I have also had pre-cancerous cells removed from my cervix. It scares me because I want a child so bad, and I am afraid of something happening and not being able to have one.

When I found out about the pre-cancerous cells, I asked my doctor how in the world it could happen. He then told me about HPV. I was devestated . I didnt understand how I could have gotten that, I explained to him that I had been with the same guy for 4 years. He tried to comfort me telling me it was so common that it was almost normal to have it. I didn't care, I felt terrible.

Here it is 4 years later, and I go to the doctor today. I am no longer with that guy, he wasnt there for me when I went through the surgery, I have not had sex since then, I still feel like damaged goods and that I dont deserve a good guy because I have HPV ( no matter how common it is )

I stress to EVERY girl and guy reading this. Use protection( even though you can still get HPV even though you use a condom ) STD's are so wide-spread. It makes me so sick to hear of people having hundreds of partners. Dont have sex until you are in a serious relationship. Even then, go get tested together. Wouldnt you rather know up front?

I encourage anybody to read about HPV. I am pretty sure you, or either somebody you know is infected with it. I think the HPV vaccination is a great thing. It doesnt give your daughter permission to have sex, but it does protect her for when she falls in love, trusts the guy, and then 4 years later she finds out she has it....like I did.

I didnt sleep around. I fell in love ( or so I thought )

I hope this helps anybody out there struggling with this.

Don't know what you got....till it's gone

Have you ever had the greatest person in your life, and completely took advantage of it?

Many years ago, I had the absolute greatest guy friend in the world. He never forgot my birthday, always sent me a card for Valentine's Day, Christmas, Birthday....he even sent me roses one year for Valentine's Day because nobody else had sent me any. They were the most beautiful pink roses I have ever seen. He would always want to know how my day was, came to the funeral home when my grandfather died, had the cutest voicemail that I still think about today( it makes me smile everytime ) He showed tons of sympathy when I had the shingles....he was just the greatest thing that ever happened to me ( even though he didnt like the OC )

Now that I am older...I realize he is exactly what I want....but I missed out on that because I was too busy worrying about the guy that was so wrong for me. If I could take all of it back...I would want for him to be the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He is the most amazing guy, and I hope he finds true love because if there is anybody out there that I want to be happy.....it's him

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting

I am so stoked. This afternoon I went to walk in the park, after running into an ex that was running ( which made me mad when I saw him ), I got in my car and had a voicemail. It was from the Martial Arts studio in town. They just wanted to let me know that I had won a month free of classes!!! I was so excited because I love kickboxing! I relieve so much anger that way. Dont get me wrong, I am a proud owner of probably 12 kickboxing dvd's, but it is just so much better when there are more people doing it with you!

I am a blogger now...YAYYY!!!

I am so excited about having my own blog! I have been wanting to do this forever, just kept putting it off. Thanks to my friend Bone, I finally have one!!

So...why.. mainly because I need single friends, and need to vent some days, and I always have some amusing drama going on.

I am sure you want to know the story behind Aunt Chachi....it's what all of my friends kids call me, and those children mean the absolute world to me. Even though I probably won't have any of my own, I know there are atleast some kids that love me. I think children are the most amazing gift from God. It makes my heart hurt to see somebody mistreat a kid, or throwing there kids off on just anybody where they can go do who knows what! It drives me crazy!!!

There's so much to know about me, I hope to keep EVERYBODY amused!