This time of year scares me.......

If you are a woman you know we have our yearly visit to " The doctor" I dread it every year, mainly because I am afraid of hearing something bad. My grandmother had ovarian, breast, and womb cancers. I have also had pre-cancerous cells removed from my cervix. It scares me because I want a child so bad, and I am afraid of something happening and not being able to have one.

When I found out about the pre-cancerous cells, I asked my doctor how in the world it could happen. He then told me about HPV. I was devestated . I didnt understand how I could have gotten that, I explained to him that I had been with the same guy for 4 years. He tried to comfort me telling me it was so common that it was almost normal to have it. I didn't care, I felt terrible.

Here it is 4 years later, and I go to the doctor today. I am no longer with that guy, he wasnt there for me when I went through the surgery, I have not had sex since then, I still feel like damaged goods and that I dont deserve a good guy because I have HPV ( no matter how common it is )

I stress to EVERY girl and guy reading this. Use protection( even though you can still get HPV even though you use a condom ) STD's are so wide-spread. It makes me so sick to hear of people having hundreds of partners. Dont have sex until you are in a serious relationship. Even then, go get tested together. Wouldnt you rather know up front?

I encourage anybody to read about HPV. I am pretty sure you, or either somebody you know is infected with it. I think the HPV vaccination is a great thing. It doesnt give your daughter permission to have sex, but it does protect her for when she falls in love, trusts the guy, and then 4 years later she finds out she has it....like I did.

I didnt sleep around. I fell in love ( or so I thought )

I hope this helps anybody out there struggling with this.